8:45 PM
February 13, 2019
It's been two days since he smiled. When he learned about the extension of the situation we're currently in, I was there. I saw him as he called out my company. Until today, I cannot forget how his thin lips curved slowly upwards at the dawn of reality. He was trying to be subliminal, perhaps because I was there. I know he was trying to conceal the elating feelings brewing inside his very soul. We may not be close, but I know him enough to know what it meant. It was all so sudden yet it felt like we were in slow motion the moment I laid eyes on him on that very particular moment; and it stuck in my memory that everytime my mind wander off to nothingness, I'll just find myself thinking of how he carefully smiled, and how exactly I felt.
It was terrifying.
Even until now, I cannot shrug off that haunting sight. The look on his eyes was malicious, almost vehement to the point that it made my stomach turn. Despite the lack of words, I could hear him screaming how he is the victor in a war he wouldn't admit he started. As his smile turned into a wicked grin, I dropped my stare and turned my back from the monster he is becoming. I'm not going to deal with devils. They scare me.
I decided to play my part well. Nitpicking on anything I come across somehow became a nice distraction. But why must I deny that I can't shrug off the feeling that there is something wrong with the situation? The heavens cried for more than half of the day and somehow, I find myself drowning into the thoughts of the thousand possibilities of the worst things. This is how it is for people with anxiety, but intuition often gets the better of my whole being; and right now, it's screaming, yearning for justice.
The heavens have been opening its gates again, but only for those who they think are worth it. But how to be worthy? What defines worth? The lady of justice has been peeping from her blindfold since time immemorial. Even the angels are afraid of what their counterparts can do.
It's unfair.
God knows how hard I'm fighting for values forgotten. Such is innate. But the haunting memory from two days ago made me realize that I have already dived into the deepest trenches of this heaven-blessed society in order to expose the fact that people are drowning in the pool of faux power and authority. But slowly, it's getting to me.
Because no matter how much I try, it's difficult to fight... alone.
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